This Map is Wrong: A Dissection of U.S. Vacationing Logic

In the grand tapestry of human achievement, we’ve seen maps that charted new worlds, maps that plotted the course of great expeditions, and now… this. A colorful little number titled “Vacationing in the U.S.,” which boldly declares where you should and shouldn’t go based on categories that are as stereotypical as they are baffling. And where does our beloved West Virginia fall on this map? In the section labeled “Where you never go.”

I know what you’re thinking: “Surely this is a mistake. West Virginia is practically a postcard of natural beauty and adventure!” But no, according to this map, our state is the travel equivalent of that one food item in your fridge that you just keep forgetting to throw out. Now, was this map the brainchild of an almighty algorithm or an amateur cartographer who made their first map? I’m leaning toward the latter—especially based on these daring color choices.

Where You Go to See Nature: The Obvious Miss

Let’s start with “Where you go to see nature.” This map kindly informs us that if we want to experience the great outdoors, we should head to states like Montana or Colorado. Because clearly, the rugged mountains, roaring rivers, and dense forests of West Virginia just don’t make the cut. Never mind that West Virginia offers some of the most stunning natural landscapes this side of the Rockies. The mapmaker must’ve missed all the hiking trails, national parks, and scenic overlooks while they were busy sharpening their crayons.

Where You Go Because You’re Rich: We Must’ve Missed the Memo

Then there’s the category for the rich. Apparently, West Virginia isn’t on the list of places where the affluent flock. Maybe the mapmaker thinks that luxury cabins, private fishing lodges, and mountain retreats don’t appeal to people with money. Or perhaps they assume that the rich prefer crowded beaches and overpriced restaurants. Either way, they clearly haven’t heard about the upscale, yet unpretentious, experiences that await in our mountains. But hey, if they want to keep thinking that, we’ll just enjoy the peace and quiet over here.

Where You Go to Visit Relatives: Only If They Beg

Let’s not forget the category dedicated to visiting relatives. The map seems to suggest that if you’ve got family in West Virginia, they’re not worth the trip. As if a family reunion set against the backdrop of West Virginia’s stunning scenery doesn’t sound appealing. Maybe the mapmaker’s relatives never invited them to one of our state’s famous cookouts or family gatherings—complete with homemade pies, stories by the fire, and a view that rivals any travel brochure. Their loss, really.

Where You Never Go: Breaking the Stereotype

And finally, the pièce de résistance: West Virginia as “Where you never go.” According to this map, West Virginia is the Bermuda Triangle of vacation spots—a place so obscure, so unworthy of your time, that you should just avoid it altogether. But here’s the thing: this map isn’t just wrong—it’s perpetuating the very stereotypes we at Lost River are on a mission to break. We believe that West Virginia is a hidden gem, a place where you can find adventure, beauty, and a deep connection to nature. It’s not a state to be dismissed, but one to be discovered.

At Lost River, our mission is to show the world that West Virginia is anything but a place you “never go.” We’re here to redefine the narrative, to shine a light on the incredible experiences that await those who are willing to see beyond the stereotypes. Whether it’s exploring the untamed wilderness, enjoying the vibrant arts and culture, or simply finding peace in a secluded mountain cabin, West Virginia has something for everyone—no matter what this map might say.

And while we’re at it, we’d be more than happy to teach the mapmaker a thing or two about how to create a real map. Because clearly, they’ve never been to West Virginia—or anywhere else worth visiting. Maybe that’s why they thought this map was a good idea. So, next time you’re drawing lines and picking colors, come on over to West Virginia. We’ll show you how it’s done, because we certainly won’t be going to wherever you’re from to get a map.

The Real Conclusion

So, what have we learned from this map? Apparently, West Virginia is a state you should never visit—if you believe in oversimplified, outdated stereotypes. But the truth is, West Virginia is exactly where you should go if you’re looking for something real, something beautiful, and something far beyond the clichés this map so eagerly clings to.

To the mapmaker: We invite you to visit us sometime. Break free from the stereotypes, put down the crayons, and come see for yourself why West Virginia is a place worth discovering. You might just find that it’s where you should have been going all along.

But until then, we’ll be here in West Virginia, continuing to break the mold and redefine what it means to explore the “wild and wonderful.” Feel free to join us whenever you’re ready to leave your outdated map behind.

For more about our mission to showcase the true beauty and potential of West Virginia, visit Lost River Mission.